LOOSING IT. HOW I FOUND GRACE AND MERCY. PART 1

One will ask, why is she putting her story out there? The telling of my story is part of my mandate and divine assignment.

I am so passionate about this season of my life because the devil wanted to make a public spectacle of me but God has used it and continue to use it for his glory. I would not have found the need to pursue God like am doing right now without these disruptions. Trust me, It didn’t make sense in the beginning.

I envisioned that my marriage was going to be one of the best. One of the fairy tale marriages that every one would wish for. I had this all planned out beautifully. I wrote it all down in my journal. The structure of how my family was going to look like. Unfortunately, that did no not go as planned. I went into another in search of greener pastures with honest expectations of heaven on earth.

In this particular season of my life, I begun to loose my self and my God given identity. I literally felt that I had been robbed of my glory. I remember texting a good friend one night and these were my words, say a word of prayer for me Honorable, I do not like the person I have become.

This season was a season of pain, disgrace, shame, chaos, accusations, and condemnation. I was actually made to feel that I was not worthy to receive love. My destiny was almost re routed because I fought with everything I had in me in this particular season.

During this same season, I was positioned to work in a prison. Apparently God took me there for a reason. See, God sometimes does not talk to us audibly, he gives us signs and tokens that talks audibly. Some of the prisoners opened up to me regarding what actually sent them there. The lord wanted me to hear these stories and also have a feel of life in prison. It was a warning for me to get my self together and let go and let God. One of my sisters who lived with me briefly will always tell me, aren’t you tired ? “Adobea, Aren’t you tired of fighting? Leave it all at the feet of Christ”

Let’s talk about betrayal because that is inevitable. Betrayals will ensue and I believe we have to know that as part of our journey here on earth. A particular couple in my neck of the woods suppose to be “friends“ decided to stab me in my back for no apparent reason. It felt like they had pierced my heart with a knife. But as Judas was needed to make the betrayal of Jesus possible, they too were needed in this season to make this part of my story complete.

I haven’t even talked about the naysayers. I can not leave the Pharisees and Sadducees out, they also played their part.

At my wits end, I had no choice but to surrender. I thank God that through this, he gave me an unexplainable and enormous courage, he embraced me and loved on me like never before when I decided to surrender, let me be plain with you, I told God that if he doesn‘t leave the 99 and come after me, he was going to loose me. I was desperate for him at this time. I told him to give me the same water he gave to the Samaritan woman at the well. I was desperate for that water, the water that you never thirst of, the water that becomes in us spring of water gushing up to eternal life.

Guess what, he answered my prayers. He showed himself to me in mighty ways, and this happened only when I allowed him. He assured me that I was worthy of love and every good thing and more. He strategically placed people in my life who helped and are still helping me. I refused to wallow through the societal stigma because God had showed me my destiny and purpose through this. This season of my life allowed me to pursue him. I desired to know him more than ever before. He was all I had.

Recently, one of my elder brothers asked me if am now a Pastor? Well, I told him God is all I have. He showed up mightily when I needed him most to rewrite my story. I honestly don’t know what my life will be without him. Stay tuned for part 2. Shalom.

Adobea (Imani).