Happy new month.
A friend inspired this blog. I had a recent conversation with this person about communication in a relationship and how detrimental lack of this very thing can be
I was in a recent relationship where confrontation and arguments became the bread and butter of the day. I got so tired of this character trait I deliberately refused to listen. I stopped listening. I realized as time went on I would cut the other party in the middle of what they were saying and vice versa. To date, I find myself doing it when I talk to friends and family. I now have to make a conscious effort to put an end to this character trait anytime I find myself doing this.
For me, I got to a point I felt I was losing it all because I couldn't get through to this person. Everything that was said was rebutted. I am sure you know how frustrating it is to be in a relationship with someone who is never wrong and has justifications for every action.
Eventually, most of our communications turned into arguments, so I stopped communicating. My sanity at this time was more important—this act of not communicating brought about its challenges, i.e., accusations, etc. I was branded as a liar because I couldn't paraphrase anything that was said in prior conversations.
Communication in a relationship allows you to explain to someone else what you are experiencing and what your needs are. Both parties have to make a deliberate effort to listen to each other. Assumptions in relationships are another form of ignorance. You can not keep assuming in a relationship. You have to give each other the chance to voice out what they are feeling, and you have to provide them with the benefit of the doubt
A relationship without communication is dead. You can not be in a relationship with someone and not communicate. You are better off not being in such a relationship at all. Communication helps you stay connected in a relationship, so what's the essence of a relationship without one?
What are some of your thoughts when it comes to communication in a relationship? I will go first.
I used to tell my partner everything; I mean everything. Along the way, I realized these very things were used against me when arguments ensued. This closed the communication door for me. I would often hear, it doesn't matter, you still have to communicate because that is what relationships call for, true. Still, it doesn't call for abusing this privilege, in my opinion, and for me, I needed to choose my sanity over the precepts of what relationships call for.
Let us read your thoughts on communication in relationships.
Shalom Adobea (Imani)
Amazingly came across this post on a Christian platform I belong to. It sums it all. it’s a long read so be warned but will be worth reading
Understanding Submission in Marriage
I used to cringe at the idea of submission. I'm really skilled at dodging bullets and I doged this one well. I never really bothered to pay attention to that talk of how "woman should submit to their husbands."
For me, it sounded like a sophisticated form of slavery.
But you know, the devil is really smart. You have to be wise like a serpent to understand and sight his gimmicks from a distance.
He takes the words out from the scripture and confuses you with them especially…
It all honestly balls down to choosing well.
Have your friend read a book written by Eno Jerry , a pastor in Nigeria, the title of the book is I almost ruined my marriage. The husband is also a Pastor. Maybe your male friend can learn something from that book. What saved their marriage was the husbands intimacy with God. Eventually Eno Jerry snapped out of what was happening to her and came to her senses. In those trials, the husband never stopped loving her. Their marriage would not have survived. It gave him the opportunity to draw closer to God and he wared spiritually. That is the game changer hence the emphases on choosing well.
You are right about the practicality too. You can’t choose what suits you in marriage. So practicality will demand respect from both man and woman, that’s exactly what I was trying to get at. The fact that the Bible says women should respect their husbands does not mean men can demand that and do the opposite. In regards to submission, we all ought to submit to one another. the scripture in Ephesians is great but a lot of people don’t understand it, we don’t even understand the true meaning of love let alone understand those precepts in Ephesians. Sadly it is used to abuse women in many ways . That very scripture in Ephesians.
I am loving this although it’s not in line with my blog on communication, when God permits I will do a series on this very topic you have brought up in a video laying emphasis on the scripture in Ephesians. Thanks for your contribution big brother
Shalom